cutting your own hair rates crazy

So, I've cut my hair twice in the same month and each time shorter. First, it was just a bob then I totally hacked it down to a pixie cut. I love it now, very short hair which I've never had in my life. My family just freaked out calling me insane for taking the chop job for myself. I don't really care and I wouldn't be doing it myself if I didn't have complete confidence behind it. Also, I really wanted all my hair gone, I needed something very different and now I have it. I LOVE IT. Plausibly my parents could rule this in favor of a mental breakdown, but I'm thinking pretty clear on this one. I feel more feminine and pretty with short hair now. I've wanted it short for a long time, last summer was the first time I commented that I wanted to try really short hair. I am happy with what I did and I feel better now.

Being Human series 3 just ended and Mitchell is dead. At least, I believe he is. I wonder how they'll bring him back. He's a seriously dark character and I've never really thought that through before. I always liked him and Annie and George. I've never been particular about Nina, she's always been a bit cruel to me. She's great to George though, he's such a sweet character. Well, can't wait for series 4.

I need to read the last Vampire Diaries book, but I have yet to purchase it. I can't finish my GG books until I finish that series. Once I'm on one order it's impossible to move on until I'm done with that series. It's an odd, OCD type of behavior I'm aware, but it's just the way I operate.

My 21st birthday is around the corner and there is no excitement in me about it, is that possible?

I've got some things to figure...good evening, all.

only time i'm creatively encouraged is 6 am

Popped by for a post in between watching old Saturday Night Live re-runs and no I don't mean ones from like two weeks ago. I'm watching 90s material here. I thought the early and late 90s had strong casts, the middle years were trying to find their ground in between stellar casts. Gosh, it reminds me how much I love Jimmy Fallon. He could never keep a straight face in any of his sketches and that's basically what I would watch for if he was in one. I don't think he's kept a straight face on any of his "Late Night" interviews. The Cow Bell one he definitely had his hand up on his mouth the entire time. I've always liked Jimmy...except the films he's made, those are awful. They just weren't that good even if you put him in a scene with Oscar winners...he'd probably be laughing with his hand over his face. Loved the album he released "Off the Bathroom Wall" I believe it's called and it has some really funny bits on it. He's a real goofball but that's what makes him likable to me. Did he ever get all the Saved by the Bell cast together for a reunion? That would have been sweet.

Fixed up a new layer with the odd template's blogger has. I didn't want to bugger it too much, but it looks okay. I always make everything really dark because I like it that way. It's either really dark or really light, stark contrasts.

Really, really excited that Henry Cavill gets to be the new Superman! Yeah! Woot! I had a fit when I saw the Entertainment Weekly cover he was on. I think squealing may have been involved. Zack Snyder is slated to direct so I'm hoping it'll be good. I really love his remake of Dawn of the Dead (CJ!) and adaptations of The Watchmen and 300. I'm not a big comic fan but he certainly is true to source material and that's what fans love. Can't wait to see how Cavill's Clark Kent will be!

I finished re-reading Stephenie Meyer's The Host for the first time since I bought it over two years ago. It was sitting on the shelf for a long time and I kept thinking I should read it again. I decided to do this after watching a few fan trailers on Youtube that piqued my interest in the story again. With remembering a little from the first read, I enjoyed it more the second time through. I can say right now that I think that book is a thousand times better than all four Twilight novels she wrote and science fiction is more her place. I love the idea (not that it hasn't been done often already) and the characters. I have to say Meyer's always makes one character I absolutely love and keeps me interested in. The battered female is a staple in both the Twilight Saga and The Host and that always bothered me. I think Bella was weak about many things but Wanderer or Mel in this book starts out kind of battered and learns to be a stronger person. Partly because of the human still in there and Ian's help for her to find her own voice. I heard there is talk of this being made into a film, but I hope it's just rumors because the appeal for me would be completely ruined.

Vampire Diaries is out until April 7...why such long hiatuses? Supernatural will get it soon as well. Friday's episode was hilarious though. Misha got killed, little surprised by that. Him (as himself) was awesome, best part of the show. Complete contrast to the serious nature of Castiel. Lovely...

I've got to go buy Shadow Souls and read it! I'm kind of interested to see where Elena/Damon dynamic goes. Read somewhere Smith wanted them together in the end, no clue if that's true. Matt's there too! They really need to get him back into the show. I'm Team Damon on the show (who isn't really?) but I'm such a Matt fanatic I love him in the book and show and I really want him to get some bigger part in it. I know it's difficult in an hour block to get like ten different characters stories all in...but I want more Matt! I'm more of a Tyler/Caroline fan. Speaking of Tyler, 180 of awesomeness on the show! Can't wait for his character's return. I'm starting to get sick of Katherine. I know that she's there to stir the pot and fuck things up for everyone, but when she's there I feel like it detracts from characters developing because it's like getting junk punched to the past. I love the history stuff but man, it just shows her being more a bitch. Everyone likes that though. One thing is for sure now, Damon ain't falling for it anymore. He totally pushes her aside in the last episode. Classic...I just laughed my ass off. Just means Katherine is going to have to get creative, huh?

xoxo

P.S. I wish it was still raining...love that sound of rain pounding, makes my eyes extra droopy.

Um...

I just finished watching The Last Song and Miley Cyrus' mouth is odd. I don't know why, maybe it's the overbite of her teeth because it looks like an overbite. It just bothered me when I was watching it. Also, she has the posture of a 15-year old boy, she walked like that at least. The movie was as expected as any Nicolas Sparks' one goes - love, loss, and happiness. I was bored and was browsing Netflix, it was up there so I clicked "Play". I felt it was too long at an hour and forty-two minutes. It wasn't as long as The Notebook which I snored half way through it. Greg Kinnear was good in his supportive role.

I watched this movie Exam before it and that was very good. It was a little independent psych-thriller from the U.K. It's your basic "stick a bunch of people in a room and let all there little secrets come out because they are forced to save their life". That had close to the same running time and it was 10 times more convincing with it's story and characters. Sorry, Miley, I just ain't believin' you as a sad, angry teenager. Perhaps too much Hannah "Insta-gag" Montana has done me in. (She's probably a really nice gal though so I'm not going to be really mean because she doesn't deserve it. She probably gets enough crap from the internet.)

Should be asleep right now and I've manage to post a lot this month. Something to do with my lack of a normal life, I think. I'm starting to think being locked up in a room for 80 minutes with 7 strangers is a real dream come true. Oh, Russian Roulette, here I come!

Really...better go. Hands going numb, sleep is required for survival. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Random Annoyances

You know, I just posted a day ago but I am compelled to write a little more. There have been certain occurrences in my life recently that I have believed to set something in motion. I don't know if it will be positive or negative, but I hope it helps me. Desperately, I want to see my only two friends (I know I am lonely and loser-like, sue me), but I never do and I feel it is because they don't want to spend time with me. I can write it off as other things but I have to believe if they truly wanted to spend their time with me they would find a way.

Who cares how things are done, as long as they are done? Why is it impossible for others to care about other people or themselves for that matter? What the fuck kind of world was I born into??? I realize some things get better over time and others get worse. Robert Frost predicted it would end in either fire or ice. I have a feeling ice will suffice. We ALIENATE each other and use little poisonous devices to avoid others while making ourselves feel important. Am I the only one who sees this because it doesn't affect me? I know the minute it slips in my hands I'll be a tech zombie and that's a road I don't want to travel.

I'm watching "The Rules of Attraction" and boy, that Dawson Leery is much better not as Dawson Leery. And for those not following, I'm referring to James Van Der Beek. That's not the good part though, Ian Somerhalder is. On the IMDB's summary page they call his character Paul a bisexual but he seems just to be homosexual. There isn't a moment where he's interested in a female, in fact he seems to snarl at them. (Pause for laughter) A weird image to see in my mind. He's just striking. He shows up in a scene and I just zone in to him. He could be standing far back in the frame with two really hot guys standing on both sides of him and a freaking ficus covering the front of him, but I'd still be draw to him. It's weird, but watching the movie makes me do this. I've seen him in many different roles and never have I felt that way about his character. Gosh, I am one strange lady... I saw Marco Polo on Hallmark the other day and wondered what kind of accent he was using...it would come and go. I would think Italian because wasn't Polo Italian? I never see the entire four hours, but I think I can watch it on Netflix. Thanks to Netflix I've had opportunity to watch some of his movies. One I really recommend is "Wake" which is a very light-hearted and funny film. He plays a vet in the film too!

Enough rambling.

Really Should Be Doing Something Productive

It is a new year and according to the Mayans our last in existence. Yippee! The end of 2010 was blurry and sad for me. I did not enjoy it the way I intended to, but even the best made plans get botched. The only importance to the holidays is family and when family is splinted, say by an event, it becomes empty. I feel like the past few years no one really cares about Christmas and what it's suppose to be other than Jesus' birthday which it isn't by the way. So, I sat at home on Christmas Eve laying about and having a few drinks which made me feel incredibly good being by myself for once. Christmas Day was brighter: amazing food from Grams, fun card games (won Sevens probably close to 10 times and I really stink at card games!), and a few presents. I got a watch because I'm very anal about time and not having one for several years grates me a little. New Year's Eve was spent with friends: food, games, and presents again! I'm usually the happiest when I least expect it. I blame my brother, Nick for that really...

I need to finish reading Gossip Girl, they keep sitting on my shelf taunting me to finish reading them. I kind of miss the sassy(did I just say that?) dialogue, stoned jocks, and bitchy drunk girls (aka Blair Waldorf) - oh forgot to include bulimic somewhere in there. Honestly, I thought I had problems (and I do) but they are not social problems. Nothing from my environment is affecting my problems, it's more like my mind responding to things in my environment. Wow, that might actually be redundant. Basically, I'm a non-smoking, socially anxious yet possibly self-destructive individual that's keen to reach out to the world and fix it and some of its people in the process. I'm just stuck at the "fixing me" part. I know there is a person somewhere in me and I know they are struggling to get out but they can't find the right door.

OK, I need to finish Gossip Girl , but Nightfall sits atop it with 20 pages (give or take) to finish. Not to mention there is a follow-up to it. My first impressions were so-so about the book and I could see why fans love the original series published back in the early 90s. The story was cohesive in those books and easier to follow. In Nightfall, I felt like I was thrown into a complete different world that the original books placed the audience in. Right away the use of technology threw me because chronologically if the original books were set at the time of their actual release and these books follow shortly after those (possible a week or so...) there wouldn't have been cell phones. It would have been 1991 or 1992. But, I understand these are being set-up to new readers and old ones, and we have to change with the changing times. The other problem was the story was convoluted with mystical side. It is not well explained until way into the second half of the book. Up before that point I kept having a furrow brow wondering what the hell is going on in Fell's Church. Matt and Meredith - my two favorite characters have small roles but they still dominate the scenes they appear in. Matt especially in his protection for Elena (which, let's face it, isn't used at all on the show) when they are in the Old Wood. If only his strength were found more on the show, maybe in the future (of the show) I will be pleasantly surprised.

What I liked about it - I found out what really is going on in Damon's head. Very small role in the original books so it's logical to see why he loves Elena. He is a bastard in many parts of the book even without possession (spoiler) and I guess I'm twisted because I wouldn't mind seeing some more of that in the show too. I know he was mean for half the first season and it's nice he's all "one with his humanity" but when he spikes with hatred...it's meaningful. There was an interview I listened to where Ian Somerhalder (*sigh*) mentioned a scene in one of the books where Damon goes in a store and just compels and charms these women, but I was confused because I hadn't read any part like that. Well, I think it came from Nightfall because there is lots of Damon POV going on and it's a good starting point for playing that character.

Time to send off. I've got reading to do and sleep. Can't forget that...

the holidays are upon us...

Follow me, I've already got a few cups of coffee in me at the time being and I have a paper due tomorrow that I'm in the process of writing, so like any easily distracted individual I've dropped everything to post. I haven't posted in a month! Christmas will be here soon and my term is almost over at school so I'm looking forward to time off to really get down to it and read some books I haven't got to. I just did some cleaning up on my shelves and I hope there's a place that could use some books to take them. I hate just throwing books out, I want to donate them to a place that will put them to use.

I heard from my father yesterday when we went out to eat, we weren't having a proper Christmas at his family's house because my aunt told my Grandma there was no reason to have it! I was upset by this because since my grandma passed on my mother's side and she was the one who initiated celebrating, all we've done is eat sandwiches or pizza and that is dull! I don't want both sides to become un-Christmas like! I love getting to eat some polish food and talk with everyone, I hardly see them ever during the year and this is the one chance I do get to see them! I really hope these plans change because when my life doesn't seem so bad, everything around it starts falling apart.

I spent a week ago before finals sick, horribly sick. I had the flu, then a kidney stone, and a urinary tract infection. I never took that much medication or stayed in bed as long and I could not wait for it to pass me by. It set me back in classes but thankfully, I have some time this week to study and read before my last of my finals. It's total shit out lately so I'm basically trapped in the house for half of the week. I have Christmas shopping to tend to the next couple of days and studying really and then Christmas. It's looking okay from here on, but my luck doesn't always shine good on me.

I just finished watching series 3 of Skins on Netflix. I'm watching it as they add it to instant viewing so I'm a little behind. I have to say after seeing series 1 and 2, this one was not as good. Most of the reviews I've read have resonated the same thought and I can understand why. The whole show is suddenly centered around Tony's younger sibling, Effy (those real name is Elizabeth, so I can't see why she has that nickname...why not Liz or other countless versions?) Maybe it's an English thing I don't understand. Basically the love triangle bullsh** is what I'm pointing at here. Every episode lead back to the love triangle when it's suppose to centered the the episode's titled character. I will say I love Cook, he's a wild-ass kid but I think he's just another one of those misunderstood fellows who isn't a complete knob-head, but acts like it all the time. He reminds me of Chris from the first two series, but let's hope Cook doesn't meet an end like Chris. I loved his character too.

Really, I hope the Effy-centric stuff lays off a little but reviews for series 4 put her in the middle again. She's just not that interesting to me and all the boys want her and I don't see why. It's like why anyone would want Kirsten Stewart's interpretation of Bella Swan from "Twilight". She is dreadfully boring in the movies and neurotic. She always is neurotic in those film's stuttering and pulling her hair...but that's off topic. Cook is great, wish I had a friend like him and JJ too. They did take the gender bits far with lesbians this series, that was hardly touched on in the first two. It was nice to see an openness there. Really believe my friends would enjoy this show even though not of them have seen it. I recommend anyone reading this to see the show. You can watch the first three series in streaming on Netflix and they are worth the time. Lovely character studies for young adults. It pries the door back on what really happens in the teen years, the uncertainty and experimentation in a colorful and fun backdrop.

Recently I've seen clips for an American version on Skins to air on MTV in January. I'm not really pleased with this since I love the English version very much, but I might watch to see what they do. It'll probably be like series 3 and 4, really trite and stereotypical. They are also doing this with Being Human another favorite of mine on the SyFy channel. I'm peeved about both and I'm not looking forward to that. Why remake it? Why not air the freaking episodes of the show that's already been created? Complaining is completely useless at this point so I'm just shutting up and putting up with it. I tune in for an episode but probably tune out for the rest.

Everything I watch is on hiatus for the month...ah...I don't know what to do! Oh, yeah, read...DUH. Maybe I'll finally finish the Gossip Girl series I'm half way through or so. Maybe I'll make a gingerbread house with my mother this year, maybe I'll finally see my friends soon and stop moping about how I never see them....I'll just wait in see.

Happy Holidays everyone and enjoy the time you spend! ;)

pine nuts, pet peeve, and tea

Chris Pine is part of my layout now because I'm currently "pining" over him. Did you know his fans are called Pine Nuts? It's goofy but cute...why do we come up with silly names for stuff we love? Anyway, I heard that on his Jimmy Kimmel interview recently (I think) that's what they call themselves. So, I guess I'm a moderate Pine Nut.

I was excited when I saw my first "real" comment in my last post! Thanks to Caitlin for a very kind comment on my blog! No one ever leaves me substantial comments (except from Vinnie in My So-Called Life post), and I don't really care if anyone does because I'm just ranting about stuff on here. But to take the time to say you like my blog or a topic I posted on is wonderful. I would have checked out your blog, if it weren't private (or that's what Blogger told me!). So, THANK YOU!

Today I felt like talking about a weird pet peeve of mine. I freak out from weird, stumpy fingers. I know, bizarre, but it's true. Usually on guys stumpy fingers gross me out. My father has hands like that which creep me out, some celebs I like such as Keanu Reeves hands scare me. I, myself, have long fingers so I don't have to look at them and be grossed out. I don't know why I have this pet peeve, but maybe my life just has to do with it. My brother has had messed up hands for years, he used to crack them all the time and the knuckles have enlarged to an unusual size. It's almost like caveman hands. He suffers from poor circulation too because his hands get so white during the winter season. Now, if I met someone with hands like these I wouldn't run away screaming, but I'd probably give their hands a stare down.

The other thing I wanted to discuss is tea. I am a huge fan of tea and I'm always up for trying new ones however I only really like a few so far. I like black and green tea, mint tea, lemon tea, and pomegranate tea. Always looking for new ones so if anybody has any suggestions on kinds I should try, let me know! I've heard of earl grey tea but I have no idea what that is, but I don't think I've had that.